Forgive the nostalgia...Four years ago, I was in semi-agony, having false labor pains since Valentine's Day. I embarassed the hell out of my kids by taking them to school wearing my pj's, confident every Monday was "THE DAY" and their new sibling would arrive, and they would have to go home with their friends, should Mommy and Daddy be busy giving birth.
No such luck.
The 20th came and went...
The 25th, I was having regular pains until I arrived at the doctor's office. Everything came to a screeching halt, so we were told to go walk around WalMart for an hour.
Still nothing, although I did get some new underwear and socks:)
On the 29th, I'm waddling uncomfortably out of our church's Sexton Hall, because it had a handicapped stall in the women's bathroom. A dear friend of ours looks up and laughs. I'm in a cranky mood, but since I'm also known for sarcasm when I'm crabby/hormonal/downright pissed, the following occurred:
Me (pulling up my shirt to reveal my belly and likewise pushing down my maternity pants to show ENTIRE belly): Hey! If you were carrying around this, you'd walk funny too!
Him (Yes, it was a HE, and closes his eyes): Arrgghh! I'm blind!
My hubby simply laughed.
Nearly 12 hours later, I'm happily watching the Oscars and cheering on Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Hubby's in the Master Bath. I have to go. So I waddle to the other end of the house and use the kids' bath. I go to stand up; there's a loud POP! and all of a sudden, my water breaks!
Daughter comes running out of her room.
"Keisha, stop drinking out of the toilet...oh, hi Mom...I thought you were the dog!"
"Will you go tell your father my water just broke, please?"
She relays message. I hear, "Is this a problem?"
I yell, "I don't want this kid to be born in the toilet!"
Son comes running out of his room.
"What? Are you in labor for REAL now?"
Me, trying to get up and having another flood gush, so I sit back down: "It certainly looks like it, so SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OFF THIS GODDAMNED TOILET! I AM NOT HAVING THIS KID AT HOME AND CERTAINLY NOT ON LEAP DAY!" (Can you tell I was a little hormonal?)
Needless to say, we finally got me into the car at 11:00 pm; arrived at the hospital an hour later, shocking the staff by worrying more about the Academy Awards and the fact I was leaving a wet trail all the way from the front door to the LDR room, skipping triage completely.
And let me interrupt myself a moment: With my first one, it was 8 hours, and the dialation checks were 3, 9, and 10. With my daughter, it was 4 hours, with being dialated at 8, then 10 . With this one, I my dialation checks were 1/2; 1; 1 1/2; 2 1/2; 3; and then finally, 5. At this point, after LOTR had won and I wanted to sleep, I requested an epidural.
Epidural occured at 1 am, March 1st. 2 hours later, we begin pushing. Baby arrived 29 minutes later:)
And promptly baptized the doctor!
And when I saw my friend and his wife the next day, when they showed up to see the little guy, I told her, "If I had known flashing your husband was going to throw me into labor, I'd have done it three weeks ago!"
Okay, nostalgia is over...Did females propose to their men today? Traditionally, it's Sadie Hawkins' Day...or, according to ask.com, Bachelor's Day. Same concept...