Will the Real Kenzie Michaels Please Stand Up?

(Applause)

Welcome to Tell The Truth! Please introduce yourselves.

Hi, my name is Kenzie Michaels

Hello, my name is Kenzie Michaels.

Hello to you both! Welcome!

KM1: Thank you. It’s nice to be here.

KM2: (nods politely)

Would you please describe yourself as a child?

KM1: I was outgoing; I constantly shouted ‘Look at me! See what I can do!”, and made friends very easily.

KM2: I was always reading; I had only one best friend, and was painfully shy.

How about the high school years?

KM2: I was still shy; however, my best friend was popular and I met a lot of friends through him. I was in band and worked in the school library.

KM1: I found myself in the uncomfortable position of having my best friends’ boyfriends wanting to date me. I refused the first one, dated the second, and quit helping my friend the third time. All I was trying to do was HELP her; not steal her boyfriends away!

KM2: I remember that; you only dated the second guy after you got her blessing, right?

KM1: Of course!

How about college?

KM1: Did I go to college?

KM2: I majored in Social Work and had dreams of saving abused kids. You were busy partying.

KM1: Oh, that’s right. I discovered the opposite sex was a lot of fun!

KM2: I dated also, but more seriously. I had four long-term relationships…

KM1: And a couple of duds…

KM2: Well, yes. But I ended up with some great research for my books!

KM1: You mean our books.

KM2: If you want to get technical about it….

Okay, okay. Let’s talk about your writing career. What’s your writing style?

KM1: I started writing three years ago, when these characters jumped into my head and wouldn’t leave. It was the funniest thing! One minute I’m driving down the street, and the next minute, there’s an ex-con inside my head, yelling at me to write his story! And a few months later, I remembered a gigantic crush I had on my son’s teacher, so I thought, ‘what if I had been divorced…’ And that moment at the stove when two characters were arguing over the fact she was in HIS kitchen,…that was bizarre! Not to mention the other plots which arrived while I was in the shower, sitting at McDonald’s, at my class reunion….

KM2: We get the picture. Your imagination went into overdrive. Me, I write more slowly. I worked on a book for five years before I decided on how to end it. My ideas come from observations I made while pursuing my degree. I decided there were stories which needed to be told, so others would recognize signs of danger ahead.

KM1: You wanted to be Judy Bloom or Lavyrle Spencer. I was corrupted by Anny Cook.

How do you promote your work?

KM1: I spend a great deal of time online. I chat, blog, and beg people to interview me.

KM2: I set up at craft shows, arrange book signings at stores, and I’m always willing to encourage other writers.

KM1: I did Blog Talk Radio once and embarrassed the producer when the excerpt I read on air had the word ‘pussy’ in it. And I’m not talking cat. My stuff is on the explicit, bedroom door-open-style.

KM2: I try to leave something to the imagination. My readers are, after all, could be as young as twelve.

KM1: Not mine. They’d better be at least 18, although my daughter read my first pubbed book and pronounced it ‘tame’. She claimed she’d read worse at school, and she was fourteen!

KM2, you said you were shy. Would you still call yourself that today?

KM2: Absolutely! Put me in a group setting by myself, where I don’t know anyone, and I’m terrified!

KM1: ROLFMAO! Okay, as your friend BC Brown put it, you suffer situational shyness. Ask anyone at your writer’s group: You talk more than anyone else!

KM2: (blushing) Well, okay. I guess I’ve come out of my shell a bit.

KM1: A bit? You do realize the only reason I can only blog once a week is because YOU steal all the blogging ideas.

KM2: Then how do you explain the past month?

KM1: No internet access. Plus the sub-zero temps made me want to seek a warmer climate. And you were too busy answering your email. I haven’t checked mine since last year!

KM2: True. You did participate in several chats, though.

So when is your next release?

KM1: Mine was last November, and I’m waiting for word on two more submissions. I think I’m giving up on one of them, and sending it somewhere else.

KM2: I’m also waiting for word of acceptance. I really hope I hear soon. A reader came in three months ago and asked if it was available yet.

Okay ladies. Time to identify. Will the real Kenzie Michaels please stand up?

KM1 stands.

(Applause)

And Number 2, would you please introduce yourself?

KM2: I’m actually Molly Daniels. But this was fun!