Make New Friends...

....but keep the old

One is silver and

The other's gold.


Remember that song?

Sorry if I'm stealing blog ideas again; several of my friends are blogging about friendship and I just had to add my two cents.

I've never been one to make friends easily. I think that my turbulent childhood caused me to be rather cautious when it comes to divilging confidences, and so I have a tendancy to be picky when it comes to choosing people to confide in.

I found out in my later elementary/junior high experience that boys were the best friends. Girls were too catty and too apt to switch loyalties. Not with my guy friends. They were way more supportive! However, this had a slight drawback: If my feelings toward them happened to change, how did one go about getting them to see me as a FEMALE, rather than 'just one of the guys'?

Fortunately, my first boyfriend felt the same way and told me first. Our 'romance' lasted four years, but actually was over in two. We finally admitted that yeah, we wanted to date other people, and decided to remain friends. But in high school, I was the new kid, and because I didn't want to repeat any past mistakes, I kept several girls at arm's length, remaining friendly, but not close.

My sophomore and junior years, my bff was J, and my guy friend, B. Also in my junior year, J introduced me to A, K, T, Tr, C, and R. Our group hung out at band practices, trips, and ball games. And since J was a year ahead of me, R, T, Tr, and K would be who I would have considered my 'best' friends, although only T, K, and I were the only seniors.

And B? We took a great deal of ribbing, even coming in 2nd as 'Cutest Couple' in the senior poll. I kept telling people weren't a couple, but no one was convinced. He and I were even 'married' in the hallway, so when he was eventually elected President of a club, his friends jokingly called me his 'First Lady'.

Fast-forward ten years.

At the first reunion, it seemed everyone seemed to be stuck in 'One-Up' mode.

"Look what I've accomplished."

"I need another drink."

"Here's pictures of my kids."

I would see several of my classmates, but would have zero interest in speaking to them. Probably because my self-identity was floundering: I was a wife, a mother of two, and was trying to be published. Job? I'd been a driver for a preschool, a babysitter, and waitress. But had I accomplished anything with my college degree? Not really.

And when the people I did want to talk to spoke to me, I was more interested in their lives than divulging my own, past introducing my spouse and producing pictures of my kids. In fact, I'd just given birth three weeks before, so the main topic surrounding me was a) the fact my body had quickly shrunk back to size and b) I had cleavage, since I was breast-feeding my daughter!

And I playfully admonished B when I hugged him goodbye, because he drew me in for another hug.

"Ooooh, you feel different! Why is that?"

"It's time to feed my daughter. That's why we're leaving."

He looked down.

"Wow! Let me see if I can slip my credit card in there!"

"Go back to your girlfriend and behave yourself!" I kissed him and walked out the door.

Fast-forward another ten years.

The 20th reunion was less about one-upmanship and more about catching up with everyone. My alter-ego was published by then, so I was more confident about myself and since business cards were no longer being thrown about like confetti, I was careful about handing out my own.

Several friends had married and had children by then, so we spoke more about their activities rather than our own. And to my surprise, more of the women were stay-at-home moms now, so we did have something in common again.

Now I'm looking forward to the 25th this year. I've now got three books published, plus I've been in contact with several classmates via FaceBook, one of which is the lead singer of a band out in San Francisco. She's also the one who nearly fell off her chair when I sent her a racy excerpt and exclaimed 'Sweet, innocent Kenzie wrote that?'

Yup. Blame college.

I'll talk about my college friends tomorrow.

Getting Back To Work

As I've said on many interview, I have about five wips in need of attention. So today, after a week of not knowing what day it was (the holiday weekend, my kids' final two days of school, and having the spouse home can really mess up the mental timetable!), I'm going to buckle down and strive for at least a page a day.

Baby steps.

Usually, my goals have been 1ooo words, or even 500 words, but the muse left and my motivation went with it. I have not written ANYTHING ORIGINAL since March or April, and I'm tired of it. This time last year, I had 2 completed manuscripts and a finished ms I was trying to cut down to size. This year, I have an assignment to finish and several partials to complete.

So I'll start small, and maybe Inspriration will return. I love it when I'm 'in the zone' and the words pour from my fingers! That hasn't happened in quite a while, and I miss that feeling.

Hopefully my editor will email me soon with good news about my submission?? I'm ready for another contract!

Trying not to be jealous...
I know there's always a chance for ideas to be lifted, and I also know that even though others may have the same idea, the end result is not always the same. First came my Teacher idea; other established authors wrote their books and got them published while I was in the self-edit stage. Then my two novellas were rejected, only to be replaced by other kitchen-oriented stories. Now, my alter-ego's idea is about to be released in an anthology. True, she's not done with her series, and this end result will not even remotely resemble her finished 'Reunion' manuscript, but it would have been nice to get an email saying, 'Hey, do you mind if we use your idea for...?'

But trying to shrug off the hurt feelings and actually not caring are two different things. But until I see the final product, it doesn't really affect me.

So into my writer cave I go. Wish me luck?

Hope

I had to get Tuesday's post off my chest, and now I need to move on. I cry whenever I reread it!

My QT the past few days has been about Hope, and today's hit close to home. It is hard to have hope when you're facing discouragement and feeling guilty over perceived personal failures, and I live with an angry person who constantly asks me 'why?'

'Why should I look forward to things? It never happens; I don't want to be disappointed.'

It's hard to be the optimist in this relationship, but I'd rather laugh than cry. Besides, giving up and not caring sends a horrible message to the kids. If you have nothing to look forward to, why even try setting goals? Why not just lay down and accept whatever life throws at you?

I personally don't like that attitude! God gave me this life, and I don't believe HE wants me to give up on it. I have things I want to accomplish, and I can only do that if I trust in HIM to get me on the right path. If it's not to HIS liking, then eventually HE'll point me in the direction HE wants.

And that means having an open heart. A trusting heart. And a willingness to listen and to change.

I've adapted in this new town of ours, and my writing career has taken off, rather than stagnated in our old house. He, on the other hand, is constantly complaining about the situation and wishes we could 'return home'. The kids are torn between a mother who makes the best of everything: Both teens have made new friends and still keep in touch with their old ones via MySpace, emails, and the occassional visit. The toddler is unaffected, since he was only two when the move occurred. But the occassional rebellion kicks in (esp if their dad is on a particular rant) and manifests itself in sibling rivalry.

My first 'smut' book has been published. I laugh that I am injecting some morality into the erotic genre and a friend is striving to inject some 'slight smut' into the Christian Inspirational genre. Maybe between the two of us we'll create another sub-genre, where the two will meet?

I'm choosing to look at this tiny success as proof that I've written something worthy of publication; it's a foot in the door so my other work can be given a chance; and once I'm established, I'll be able to write something more glorifying to HIM. What do you think?

Hope. Don't ever lose it, or give up on your dreams! Without them, why would we find a reason to get out of bed in the morning?

So Senseless...

I arrived home from a wonderful weekend only to discover a tragic death in our animal family.

Two weeks ago, the neighborhood kids found a tiny kitten wandering around, and decided it needed to be theirs. I ended up 'rescuing' the poor kitten from being swung around and otherwise mauled.

This kitten was so loving, it allowed me to flip it on its back like a baby and rub its tummy. He just purred and was thankful to be safe.

The neighbor across the street took it in for the night and fed it; I didn't want another cat in the house. Last weekend, another friend decided to adopt the kitten, and called it Simon. He would be my daughter's cat at her house.

Now this particular friend has three small dogs and two cats. Apparently yesterday, the Alpha dog decided to attack Simon. The 'second in command' tried to rescue Simon, and by the time my friend got to the 'doggy tug-of-war', Simon was in bad shape. She rushed him to the vet, but his injuries were too severe and they had to put him to sleep.

Today, the Alpha dog is being sent to doggy heaven. Simon is the 3rd cat she's attacked, and this time it was fatal. She's also snapped at my 5-yr-old, and bitten my husband.

My spouse is furious that a) we allowed our friend to take Simon; b) She decided to take him in the 1st place; and c) She hadn't put the Alpha dog down sooner. My daughter is in tears not only for Simon, but because of Alpha dog, who is her favorite of the three.

I woke up several times during the night, grieving for this senseless act which took the life of one of the sweetest kittens I've ever known. Not even my own.

Sandra Cox has a wonderful series about Catarou, the Cat Heaven. I hope Simon is resting comfortably in his new home, and knows he was very loved in the short time he was with us.

If I could have a do-over, I'd still have him in my house, and he'd be alive and well.

And The Winner is....

Bronwyn Green!

Congrats!

So I Had To Laugh...
Got an email from an old friend, wondering how come I posted on my FaceBook status about scrubbing the kitchen cabinets.

"Isn't the maid doing it? I mean, I thought you'd be sitting back and collecting the money!"

Yeah, right. I won't know how well my baby is selling until I get my first royalty check...Next Month! Snort...I've been riding this euphoric high of publishing praise for a couple of days, and now I have the post-publish hangover.

I'm exhausted, and thankful I have the next three days off from not only promo duty, but Mommy duty!

Yes, I'm headed to our local festival tomorrow to meet a friend and fellow author, Jamie Carie, who writes Christian Historical Inspirationals. Her third book, Wind Dancer, takes place in our historic town in the early 1800's. I'm anxious to see how she'll be signing with a quill pen and ink...yes, she's going to be in period dress and signing authentically:)

My oldest son has been recruited to work the buffalo burger tent, so I WILL be getting my yearly feast! Normally I miss this festival, and no one ever remembers to bring me one or ten...

I'll be back next Tuesday, maybe, so have a happy Memorial Day and remember our loved ones.

I've been Interviewed:)

The interview will be up FOREVER at this URL

:http://www.examiner.com/x-5288-Salt-Lake-City-Romance-Novels-Examiner~y2009m5d19-Welcome-Romance-Lovers--Romance-author-Kenzie-Michaels-aka-Molly-Daniels-is-with-me

I've also gotten word that so far I've even sold a few copies:) I'm still psyched!

Good party last night with cake and ice cream:) I received some fantastic promotional ideas, and today I'm having a phone consultation to fix my website and more online promo ideas.

(grumbling slightly) I bet I'm going to end up on Twitter after today...I've been resisting it. But Travis informed he he's been 'twittering' one of my FB editors....maybe I'd better become a Twit...oooh, that sounds sooooooo wrong!

Happy Release Day!

Available at www.freyasbower.com I'm so excited!

Pinch me...just ten months ago I was driving the family crazy, because I had two characters arguing in my head and I couldn't get them to shut up. So, I did the only logical thing; I went to the computer and started writing down everything they were saying. Two days later, I was finished. I had taken a break to watch the public fireworks, as well as the ones we set off at home, but the minute I woke up on July 5th, I went back to the writing.

And by five o'clock in the afternoon, I was satisfied with what I'd written.

Now...what to do with it?

Spell-check; let it rest for a week, and re-read it! Then a month later, send it out, of course!

Rejected not once, but twice by the same publisher (I looked at the second email and thought, 'Um-hmm... I know. You rejected it two weeks ago!'), I sent it off again and three short weeks later it was accepted. Revisions by January; edits in March; and now everyone who wants to can read it!

When I 'fessed up to my mother, I warned her 'This is a book where, if you read it, you will blush profusely, call me up and blast me for all the naughty words, but be secretly proud of me...I hope!'

She answered, 'I may not be proud of what you write, but I'll always be proud of your writing ability!'

Thanks Mom...

And I've shocked several old classmates: 'Sweet, innocent Kenzie wrote THAT?'

Yup...Sweet, innocent Kenzie grew up:) (Blame college. Or Katie Blu, Brynn, Kaenar, Regina, etc!)

Leave me a comment and I'll do a random draw for a free download Thursday. How does that sound?